(note: the descriptions accompanying the products are the actual advertising blurbs. I did not make them up.)
Because House-Kitty was feeling a little...unsexy
Glamour Kitty Premium Scoop Cat Litter contains a built-in cat attractant and deodorizes the litter box, allowing multiple cats to use the same litter box. Impress your guests....
Fresh Step has added two exciting fragrances to its Odor Eliminating Carbon Cat Litter - Fresh Expressions Lavender and Mountain Scent. Not only do you get superior odor control, now you can also get a fragrance every time your cat steps into the litter box. Fragrance not only provides reassurance that the product works, but also provides an enhancing element to the environment. Your dog WILL appreciate the thought. I swear.
Developed specifically for dogs by top veterinarians and food scientists, Fortifido Fortified Water for Dogs contains vitamins and minerals that are key to promoting your dog's health. Fortifido Fortified Water for Dogs is currently available in three varieties: Spearmint Flavor for fresh breath, Peanut Butter Flavor for healthy bones and Parsley Flavor for healthy skin. Or you could send them to the starving masses....
These are all natural treats without chemicals, preservatives or artificial ingredients. Waggin' Train Chicken Jerky has only two ingredients - 100 percent chicken breast fillets and natural flavoring. They are low in fat, high in protein and packed in a convenient resealable bag. Because the HouseWife was feeling a little...unsexy.....
Now you can clean the dishes and still have lovely nails! The Scotch-Brite Ultra NailSaver Absorbent Scrub Sponge is tough on messes and easy on your hands and nails. It has a unique three layer design with an effective scrubbing side, an absorbent cellulose side for wiping and a thick foam center with special grooves to keep your hands and nails out of the mess. You only have to use 1 sheet AND it makes your butt look smaller...
Introducing Bounty Extra Soft - the newest member of the Bounty family! Bounty Extra Soft provides cloth-like softness for the comfort of your family. It stays thick, even when wet. It¹s durable enough to scrub tough spills and to use on more tasks around the kitchen and entire household. This cloth-like paper towel makes all of your cleanup jobs easier! With Bounty Extra Soft, messy moments will always have a happy ending.A broom for every room, and one for the underwear drawer...
Awaken your home with fragrance! Introducing the Airwick FreshSweep Broom. Just twist the Stick-Ups Disc and enjoy the delicate Fresh Waters fragrance as you sweep from room to room. Smells fresh and clean every time you sweep!When every second counts. Really, really counts.
New! Laundry Dropps are toss and go dissolving liquid detergent pacs. One Laundry Dropps cleans one washload! No more lugging heavy jugs, measuring detergent or messes.They've gone and made them healthy...
Hostess 100 Calorie Muffins and Coffee Cakes are the only portion-controlled snack that delivers a truly satisfying experience - with three mini muffins or coffee cakes for only 100 calories. And quick...
Kraft takes breakfast to a new level of taste and convenience with the launch of Bagel-fuls! Bagel-fuls give you everything you're looking for in the morning - taste, convenience and wholesomeness. Bagel-fuls is the first "all in one" bagel filled with cool and creamy Philadelphia Cream Cheese. The easy preparation and convenient form means you can enjoy a warm breakfast in less than two minutes.100 calories of encouragement...
Only 100 Calories! Sometimes kids (and adults) need a little encouragement to eat the fruits they should have each day. Litehouse makes it easy for your family to get the fruit they want as part of a delicious treat.Bwa ha ha ha ha haaaaa.....
Bringing Fortification to the Baking aisle! SPLENDA with Fiber is a perfect way for adults to enjoy their favorite no calorie sweetener and increase their fiber intake simultaneously. The recommended daily intake of fiber is 25 grams per day and the typical adult only consumes half of that each day. Each SPLENDA with Fiber packet contains 1 gram of fiber - three packets provide the fiber in 1 medium sized apple! Why boys hate carrots...
Nick Stix is a new healthy delicious snack - meant to be put in a lunch box or eaten at home! There are two varieties, based on your favorite Nickelodeon characters: Dora Explorer, which has three individual packs of fresh Baby Peeled Carrots and Lite Ranch Dressing and Sponge Bob Square Pants, which has three individual packs of fresh Sliced Apples and Caramel Dip.Still working on the vitamin-food prototype...
Parents and school officials will be happy to know there is finally a "school approved" beverage that not only tastes great, itÕs nutrient packed, electrolyte-enhanced, gluten-free, certified OU Kosher and contains only natural sweeteners. Vitaminwater, the "cool kid" of healthy beverages, heads "back to school" in a 12-ounce, kid-friendly size due to popular demand by "soccer-mom" consumers. Vitaminwater 12-ounce bottle is the perfect choice for kids of all ages. In addition to fitting perfectly in a school lunch bag, vitaminwater 12-ounce provides nutrients that many kids may not be getting in their daily diets. The vitaminwater fridgepack holds ten 12-ounce bottles in a convenient package that's fun for the kids and portable and convenient for Mom.Quicker than brushing....and so smart, too
Preschoolers today are more likely too have cavities than children did in the early 1990's - possibly because they are drinking more soda and juice drinks and less milk and water with fluoride. Listerine Smart Rinse is designed especially for children. It cleans by removing food particles and bacteria and contains fluoride to help promote extra cavity protection. Finally -- environmentally friendly pancakes
Don't have time for breakfast? That's a thing of the past. Now you can begin the day with a fresh organic breakfast in just minutes - with little clean-up! Batter Blaster is the incredible new way to make pancakes and waffles, packing delicious USDA Certified Organic pancake and waffle batter into a recyclable whipped cream style can. Batter Blaster meets the demands of today's ever-discriminating consumer, with quality organic ingredients, convenience and environmentally friendly packaging. Batter Blaster uses the highest-quality USDA Certified Organic ingredients, including Certified Humane cage-free organic eggs. The propellant in the pressurized can contains no ozone-depleting CFCs and the cans are made of recyclable steel. 
4 comments:
I am going to have to try those Batter Blaster pancakes, you know. I just HAVE to. It's like putting baby doll clothes on a shoe to see if your kids will play with it -- just something I HAVE to do. Can't help myself. :-)
Love this post! Thank you! Not feeling very witty ATM but I'll try again later. ;-)
Love you!
I only have one comment. It's the dog water. Why oh why did they miss out on dog-butt flavor?
Loved the blog . . .I drkr will have a homemade knitted dish cloth coming in her future - I can't see anyone beating that comment - that was hilarious. The pancakes remind me of the Environmental home remodeling projects on the TV where they throw rip down and throw away half of the house to replace things with "green" newly manufactured products with minimal (but very popular) enviro benefits. "It's not easy being Green" :-(
I shared some of the products' names and advertising with some kids at school. They laughed at them, especially the flavored water for dogs and the Batter Blaster--but I think the favorite was the Batter Blaster. They all want to try it.
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